Let me start by asking a question: Have you ever climbed a mountain? It doesn't really matter if you haven't, but if you have perhaps you can relate to what I'm going to say. When I was a high school student, I belonged to a mountaineering club. Every summer and winter I would carry a backpack as heavy as 30 kg, packed with a tent, food, water, etc., and went on a weeklong trekking in the Japan Alps. I loved the breathtaking view from Mt. Hodakadake, and I loved the beautiful starry night at the campsite of Hyakkenbora. What I didn't like was the long, steep uphill walk to the top. You see, when I was gasping for air, I'd just encourage myself by saying, "Okay, the summit is right there, just a bit more walking and I can rest!" But soon I'd realize that what I thought was the summit was actually a little bump on the path, and when I got to that bump I could see the real summit way, way, up. My hope was dashed. And often there were many deceptive bumps before I could finally see the summit. After a few disappointments, I'd start doubting that I'd ever be able to take a good long rest. Does this sound familiar?
Now that's exactly how I felt towards the end of my graduate school. I was studying physics, which I enjoyed very much, but the graduate school seemed a never-ending array of tests, exams, and thesis writing. I was fairly goal-oriented so I would drive myself to clear each hurdle, cheering myself up with self-gratifying rewards such as good night's sleep afterward or a dinner at a fine restaurant. Just wait until I finish this test then I'll be home free, I would tell myself. The problem was, there were tests after tests, exams after exams, so I'd never be home free for good. I picked up a few hobbies to relax, but soon I found that even hobbies can be quite exhausting. By the time I was ready to defend my thesis, I had a hunch that, even though this would be my last test at school there would be more to come in real life, and I was feeling a bit exasperated at the thought. If this is how life is, I'll soon be running on empty. I'll burn out. Where's the goal of my life, or for that matter, what's the goal of my life, I wondered.
About that time Sachi and I started going out together. She was a Christian and when we began talking about getting married, she asked me to meet with the associate pastor of her church for a counseling. When we met with him, he wasn't happy that I wasn't a Christian. He challenged me if I'd ever consider Jesus as the Savior. I didn't know that I needed someone to save me, nor who Jesus really was. But this got me into thinking, soul searching and reading the Bible. It was in this process that I was convinced where my sense of exasperation came from. It came from the assumption that I must rely on my own strength to keep proving myself, and that I deserve all the reward for my achievement. The Bible said that those assumptions were wrong. That wasn't the kind of living God wanted of me. Like any scientist, I didn't like to be told that my assumptions were wrong. But Jesus' invitation, "All you who are weary and burdened, come to me and I will give you rest," somehow sounded so real to me. I wrestled with God and finally came to a point where I believed that Jesus had died to pay the price for my selfish lifestyle. I asked God for forgiveness and accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
The joy of knowing the living God personally was nothing like what I had experienced before. Immediately I felt like doing something for God. I signed up for a volunteer work for the elderly. But what I did is not that important compared to what Jesus did for me. It was simply incredible that my perspective of life changed so much that I could actually enjoy extra work for others. For the first time in my life I found serving others rewarding. And yes, there were times when I felt I was being tested, but I could handle the situations much better because I knew that Jesus was with me and that God had a good purpose for me even in those testing times. When my grant proposal didn't go through, God still provided for my research, and in turn I learned to be patient, grateful, and prayerful. My ambition used to be to build a landmark with my name on in physics and mathematics. "Nakamura's theorem," "Nakamura's conjecture," or something like that. Not anymore. My ambition now is to raise a godly family. Looking back I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like without Jesus for the last 13 years. I wouldn't trade Him for anything else. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, let me finish my testimony with the same question I was asked 13 years ago: would you consider Jesus as your Savior? Praise God and thank you very much.